And why, you may ask, am I so determined to actually start updating my blog? Because we have a sweet baby girl due any day, and I want to have a place to keep track of all the changes and fun adventures we're about to embark on.
Until now, it was just the two of us. Preston and I always talked about how life was pretty simple. To be honest, we didn't have a ton of responsibility. We both have jobs and we own a house, but outside of that, we get to be pretty selfish about how we spend our time and our money. We don't even have an animal for goodness sake! Really, all we had to worry about was us!
Oh, how life is about to change!
When I first found out I was pregnant, I panicked. I was so overwhelmed that I kind of shut down for a few days. I am very much a planner, and finding out I was pregnant was quite the surprise! I've heard every joke about how pregnancy should never be a surprise...after all there is only one way to get pregnant...but I still maintain that we were VERY surprised!
After taking a few days to process everything, I realized what an incredible blessing being pregnant is! My fear about not being ready or prepared turned to excitement for the adventures ahead and thankfulness for the ability to become pregnant. Preston and I had planned on trying to get pregnant this summer, so God's timing was just a little sooner than ours was. In looking back, his timing was (of course) perfect. Landrie is due on the last day of school. Does it get any more perfect that that?! I still can't get over how wonderful it is to be hand-picked by God to carry this little baby girl for 9 months and be her mom for the rest of her life.
Generally, my pregnancy has been pretty normal. I had the typical first trimester sickness, which was awful. Preston had endless jokes about my projectile vomiting, so I'm very happy that stage ended at about 16 weeks. Weeks 16 - 32 were very uneventful to the point that sometimes I forgot I was pregnant! Then the swelling started, and I assure you that I never forget I'm pregnant now! My feet, legs, and even my face are so swollen! I joke that I look like a stuffed sausage on most days....not exactly the picture of the glowing pregnant woman I had hoped to be.
And now I'm almost done! I can't believe I'll be 40 weeks pregnant this Friday. That means Miss Landrie Kate is due in just two short days! Her perfectly pink nursery is ready, and our bags are packed for the hospital. Now, it's just the waiting game. If you would have talked to me last week at this time, I would have said I wasn't ready and she could stay put for at least a few more weeks. But now? I'm so ready for her to finally be here!
I'll be totally honest: I'm absolutely terrified about actually delivering her. My head is spinning with questions of how long it will take, whether or not I'll need an epidural, how much pain I'll be in, and one million other thoughts. But ultimately, none of that matters. The planner in me has realized that this is one area I have absolutely no control over, so making any sort of plan is pretty pointless.
As a result, I have no official "birth plan." Preston, my midwife, and I have talked about how I'd ideally like things to go, but I've been intentional about not being set on specifics about how things end up. I've realized that I'm the type of planner that needs things to go exactly according to my pre-set plan, so if there is a possibility that it won't go exactly as I've planned, it's just better for me not to have a set plan to begin with!
That doesn't mean the "what-ifs" aren't there, though. I've really struggled the past few weeks with fear about the delivery process and the health of our sweet baby girl. In those moments, I pray, and I remind myself that Landrie is not and never will be mine. She's God's. He is entrusting me with taking care of her, and it's my job to do the very best I can to raise her to be a woman that loves the Lord.
I can let the "what-ifs" ruin the joy that comes with having a sweet baby enter our lives, or I can choose to trust that God has and alway will have Landrie is his hands. I know this is easier said that done, but I want to attempt to raise Landrie with this reality in mind every day. I am confident that God already has great things planned for this precious baby, and I already feel blessed to be part of her life!
So now, we wait. It's so amazing to think that at any moment, our lives are going to radically change. We'll go from being just us two, to a family of three. Are we ready for all these changes? Probably not. But is anyone ever "ready" for everything that comes with transitioning from a married couple to parents of a baby? I'm trusting that we'll adjust just fine though! The drama queen in me will
